We’ve all been there, right? It’s just another thing we have to go through in life, but what the heck! So what are you supposed to do when life throws you lemons? What do you do if you have major life transitions that show up in your life?
Let’s discuss this and see if this helps you with your life transitions.
Here are 8 things to remember when going through major life transitions.
You may have heard each of these more than once before, but they have a whole new meaning when you are going through a major life transition and it feels like everything’s falling apart.
You Aren’t Alone
Everyone goes through challenging times, they just don’t tend to advertise it. You can rest assured that your friends and family understand your feelings and will be willing to help you in any way they can.
It’s Okay to Cut yourself Some Slack
There’s no doubt that you will need time to experience all of the feelings that come about with a major life change. Give yourself a break from all the unimportant or non-urgent things that tend to fill up life. Just take it easy and heal your heart.
All Things are Impermanent
It feels like this confusion and pain will last forever, that you’ll never be happy again, but that isn’t true. Everything in life changes. Nothing is permanent. You can trust that this transition is just that – a change that will eventually settle into a new opportunity.
Life is Change
Just like nature, life is all about change. The winter gives way to spring. The flowers bloom and then hibernate. The moon wanes and waxes. Life will always have ups and downs that we can’t always see coming.
It’s okay to let go of things that aren’t serving you – We like to keep the status quo because it makes us feel safe. But, at some point, we have to let go of things such as people and situations that are holding us back from our highest good. Though it’s not always easy, it’s a natural part of life.
There is always something to be grateful for – Your life may look grim, but if you want to find goodness and beauty in your life, you can. You may not have the same life you had two weeks ago, but you have friends who love you. You can appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Every life has wondrous things in it, we just have to notice them.
It’s okay to say no to negativity – While you surely have friends and family who are loving and supportive, it’s also possible that there are a few negative Nelly’s in your environment also. Especially now, it’s a good idea to say no to their invitations to hang out.
When you feel stronger, you can decide if they are someone you want to continue to have a relationship with. But for now, just say no – as nicely as you can.
Looking for help? Need someone to talk to but don’t want anyone inside your circle to know what’s going on with you? I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions, so if you want to chat just give me a shout out.
Has something terrible happened to you or someone you know? Because no one escapes a major life change in this world. It is painful to know that you’ve lost something you aren’t sure you can live without. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or something else entirely, there are things you can and should do after experiencing a major loss. Below are 5 Things to Do After a Life-Altering Event. I hope that it helps you as much as it’s helped me.
I recently lost my beautiful cat that I had for over 18 years. She was my baby, the last of the kittens we had watched grow up to a full-grown cat. I got her when she was only 6 weeks old and she was so special to me. She was silly, did so many funny things, and loved all the people she lived with that took care of her. Unfortunately, she had cancer and she died just before Halloween a few months ago. I’m still mourning my pretty Izzy B. It was nobody’s fault that she died, she fought a good fight and lasted longer than we thought she would. But, her passing was a life-changing event that will take me time to heal from.
Nobody or no one is exempt from life-events. Not me, not you, no one!
Below are some of the things you can do to help you get through it. They sure have helped me.
Let go of blame
Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes no one is to blame. And yet, it’s so easy for our minds to search for the answer to who is to blame. Too often we blame ourselves for making a certain decision that seemed to cause a domino effect. Or we tell ourselves if we were different somehow, we wouldn’t have made that mistake that leads to the loss. Blame and judgment serve no purpose. In fact, they hold us back from moving forward past the pain.
Be extra gentle with yourself
Once you let go of assigning blame, it’s easier to be especially kind to yourself. That means different things to different people. How can you do this? You might take the vacation time you have to give yourself space to grieve. Or you may get a massage or spend time with a trusted, loving friend. Or you might sleep most of the weekend. Whatever it is, it’s fine. Just cut yourself some slack right now – it’s allowed!
Allow yourself to feel
The last thing we want is to feel pain and sadness. But doing so is an important part of the healing process. Find a safe place to do that, whether it’s at home alone, with a trusted friend or advisor, or even during your yoga class. Pushing away those “bad” feelings will only intensify how strong they are and how long they last.
During a crisis, ask for help
We often feel shame or embarrassment when chaos ensues in our lives. We look around and see that everyone else’s life looks perfect and we wonder why that isn’t us. The fact is, no one’s life is perfect… ever. We just put our best faces forwards.
It’s safe to ask for help from friends and family who love you. If you feel you need professional help to deal with the situation, that is exactly what you need and you should seek someone out whom you trust. There should be no shame in asking for help during this challenging time.
Only do what’s necessary during this situation
Now is the time to let someone else take over for a while. Take some time off from responsibilities that aren’t vital to you or others’ survival. Step down from committees or from hosting a big party, even if the invitations have already been sent. Just focus on today and what needs to be done, and only that.
- Let go of blame
- Be extra gentle with yourself
- Allow yourself to feel
- Ask for help
- Only do what’s necessary
If you feel like you need to talk with someone, reach out to someone you trust. You will thank yourself later. Some days are better than others, just give yourself grace when you’re going through changes.
Today we are discussing life in general, but more importantly what you can learn when your life is in shambles. I can hear you saying, “Well, nobody’s life is perfect“, but what if something horrible happens to you or someone you know?
Life can be terribly revealing, can’t it? You can learn to live with disappointment, you just have to acknowledge that you can.
I really love this quote:
“Every event in life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it’s bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.” Deepak Chopra
No one wants to go through transitions, but we all will. Things must change because we are growing, evolving beings. We are here to learn what lessons we need to reach our full potential. You want that too, right?
So it may not be all fun and games. But if we want, we can learn important lessons that will serve us well as we move through tough changes.
Let me explain…
What is Really Important in Life – and What you Can Learn
When things are status quo, we believe the big, external things in life are what matter. What kind of car we drive, what our job title is, and how much money we have in the bank. These are all that seem to matter during our normal daily lives. But when “tragedy” strikes and we lose something of true value, it helps us reassess what is really important in life.
We shift our thinking and start spending time with those people and doing those things that make us really happy. Instead of just following our routine, we go out of our way to do things for other people.
That Fear Doesn’t Need to Hold you Back
So often, we feel we have too much to lose to take a big risk and change something we desire to be different. But when it all falls apart, no matter how we try to keep it together, our greatest fears come true.
We see that we really have much less to lose than we thought and that being delightfully happy is worth the risk. We can stop letting fear hold us back and take a plunge into what we’ve always really wanted.
Letting Go of STUFF is Freeing
We hang onto stuff like it’s a life raft. It can be material things, people, or situations that deep down we know is no longer making us happy. Often we are just too scared to let it go. When life forces our hand and we lose what we thought we couldn’t live without, we can finally feel free.
Free from holding on so tightly that we focus all of our energy on holding on instead of re-evaluating if we really want it in the first place.
You DON’T Have to be Perfect
We spend so much energy trying to be perfect every day of our lives. We beat ourselves up over the tiniest little flaw or mistake. All this struggling is exhausting! And ultimately, the best we can do is to pretend that everything is perfect in our world. Because we are never going to get to a stage where everything is perfect.
When you share your experiences with others whom you trust, you will start to see their masks come down. You will hear about how imperfect their lives are, and yet see that they are still happy.
In the comments below, how does this make you feel? I would be so interested to hear your perspective.