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Growth Mindset 

Growth Mindset 

Growth Mindset and Success

A conversation between you (in the blue writing) and me explaining about growth mindset:

A Comparison

So, you may be asking yourself What exactly is a growth mindset?” Well, a growth mindset is an actual, demonstrable psychological phenomenon.

Huh? I don’t get it!

It turns out that many long-term successful individuals possess certain characteristics that they share with other long-term successful individuals. This set of characteristics has been termed a growth mindset.

Oh, now that explains it!

Now, some people, who tend to achieve less than their full potential, also possess a set of characteristics that they share with other under-achievers. This set of traits has been dubbed the fixed mindset. Most people, more or less, fall into one camp or the other.

Oh, I see now.

Do YOU Have It?

People with a growth mindset tend to have a desire to learn from life. This desire leads to the ability to embrace challenges, to overcome setbacks, to see effort as worth the results, to accept criticism, and to admire and learn from the successes of others.

Oh, do you think that’s ME?

These behaviors allow native intelligence to grow throughout a lifetime. (Hence, the name.) People with a growth mindset are believers in free will and this belief allows them to achieve their goals time and time again.

Oh yeah, I want to be this person! 

People with a fixed mindset tend to have a desire to appear smart, with a corresponding fear of looking foolish. Their desire leads them to avoid challenges, to give up easily, to see extra effort as wasted, to ignore or reject criticism, and to envy and begrudge the success of others.

Oh, oh…this isn’t me!

These behaviors tend to limit native intelligence to a fixed amount. (Again, hence the name.)  People with a fixed mindset often plateau early in life and fail to have, let alone reach, fixed goals. 

Woah…….

The good news is that a growth mindset can be cultivated fairly easily by changing some critical behaviors.

Hmmm!

First of all, you have to decide to choose growth over stagnation. You also have to be willing to take positive action and begin to accept challenges and criticism and learning from both.

An excellent way to begin is by developing the philosophy of YET. This simple step simple attaches the word yet” to the end of every negative thought, as in That will never work, yet…” or Its probably not worth going, yet…” 

This simple trick opens up the possibility for growth and that possibility leads to changed behavior that actually does cause the development of the growth mindset.

Whew!! That’s a lot to digest, am I right?

Contact me if I can help you in any way. Contact me here.

 

 

How to Be On Time and Organized

How to Be On Time and Organized

There are a lot of different factors that come into play when it comes to being successful in business. Today, let’s focus on two of them, how to be on time and organized.

These two factors can make a HUGE difference in your day-to-day life. Once you have mastered these, you will be able to move faster in your business because they are a major stumbling block for new business owners.

Successful People

Think back on some of the most successful people you’ve met in your own life. The chances are they were good at both of these – being organized and on time. There’s a reason why both of these factors will make such a big difference when it comes to being successful. Can you name at least one or two?

 

How Being On-Time And Being Organized Can Help You Succeed

Both being on time and organized can help you make the best possible use of your time and energy. When referring to energy, it includes both mental and physical energy. We all have a limited supply of both, along with being restricted to 24 hours on a given day. In other words, both time and energy are limited resources. What being on time and staying organized helps with is making the most of those resources and focusing them on tasks and activities that help us reach the goals that define success.

 

There are two different ways in which being both on time and organized will help you succeed. Let’s look at both of them and then briefly discuss how to get better at them.

 

Being On-Time And Being Organized Saves You Time

 

So, how much time have you wasted this week looking for a misplaced item or a file on your hard-drive? How about your car keys? And, how much time have you wasted because you didn’t show up on time for an appointment and ended up having to wait? Making an effort to be on time and staying organized helps you save precious time and energy.

Being on time is all about time management and awareness. Work will always stretch out into however much time you give it. Becoming more aware and better at time management will help you work more efficiently.

The same is true for being well organized.

 

Being Organized and On-Time Helps You Look Professional

 

Showing up late for an appointment or interview makes you look bad. So does not being prepared or having to dig around for a few minutes to find something needed like a pen or a notepad. This is particularly true when it comes to first impressions. Work on getting better at both by trying harder to be prepared.

It will help you get the chances you deserve, and people see you as the respected person or expert in your field that you are.

 

How To Get Better At Both

 

You now know why it’s important to work on getting organized and being on time.

So, let’s look at how we can improve both those skills.

What it comes down to is getting into the habit of being conscious of time and staying on top of organizational tasks. Yes, if you’re exceptionally disorganized, it will take some up-front work to clear things up. Once completed though, you have to make an effort day in and day out to put things back in their place and stay organized.

That is true for physical items, digital items, and even thoughts and ideas. The short answer then is to practice both being on time and staying organized on a daily basis until they become habits.

 

It’s said that it takes 21 days to make a new habit stick. Here’s a free tracker to help you master your new habits.

And if you need additional help, I’m always available to chat with you to discuss how you can master your habits. Book an appointment with me here for a free 15-minute chat.

Major Life Transitions

Major Life Transitions

 

We’ve all been there, right? It’s just another thing we have to go through in life, but what the heck! So what are you supposed to do when life throws you lemons? What do you do if you have major life transitions that show up in your life?

Let’s discuss this and see if this helps you with your life transitions.

 

Life Transitions

Here are 8 things to remember when going through major life transitions.

You may have heard each of these more than once before, but they have a whole new meaning when you are going through a major life transition and it feels like everything’s falling apart.

 

You Aren’t Alone

Everyone goes through challenging times, they just don’t tend to advertise it. You can rest assured that your friends and family understand your feelings and will be willing to help you in any way they can.

 

It’s Okay to Cut yourself Some Slack  

There’s no doubt that you will need time to experience all of the feelings that come about with a major life change. Give yourself a break from all the unimportant or non-urgent things that tend to fill up life. Just take it easy and heal your heart.

 

All Things are Impermanent

It feels like this confusion and pain will last forever, that you’ll never be happy again, but that isn’t true. Everything in life changes. Nothing is permanent. You can trust that this transition is just that – a change that will eventually settle into a new opportunity.

 

Life is Change 

Just like nature, life is all about change. The winter gives way to spring. The flowers bloom and then hibernate. The moon wanes and waxes. Life will always have ups and downs that we can’t always see coming.

 

It’s okay to let go of things that aren’t serving you – We like to keep the status quo because it makes us feel safe. But, at some point, we have to let go of things such as people and situations that are holding us back from our highest good. Though it’s not always easy, it’s a natural part of life.

 

There is always something to be grateful for – Your life may look grim, but if you want to find goodness and beauty in your life, you can. You may not have the same life you had two weeks ago, but you have friends who love you. You can appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Every life has wondrous things in it, we just have to notice them.

 

It’s okay to say no to negativity – While you surely have friends and family who are loving and supportive, it’s also possible that there are a few negative Nelly’s in your environment also. Especially now, it’s a good idea to say no to their invitations to hang out.

When you feel stronger, you can decide if they are someone you want to continue to have a relationship with. But for now, just say no – as nicely as you can.

 

Looking for help? Need someone to talk to but don’t want anyone inside your circle to know what’s going on with you? I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions, so if you want to chat just give me a shout out.

 

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Life-Altering Events

Life-Altering Events

Has something terrible happened to you or someone you know? Because no one escapes a major life change in this world. It is painful to know that you’ve lost something you aren’t sure you can live without. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or something else entirely, there are things you can and should do after experiencing a major loss. Below are 5 Things to Do After a Life-Altering Event. I hope that it helps you as much as it’s helped me.

 

 

I recently lost my beautiful cat that I had for over 18 years. She was my baby, the last of the kittens we had watched grow up to a full-grown cat. I got her when she was only 6 weeks old and she was so special to me. She was silly, did so many funny things, and loved all the people she lived with that took care of her. Unfortunately, she had cancer and she died just before Halloween a few months ago. I’m still mourning my pretty Izzy B. It was nobody’s fault that she died, she fought a good fight and lasted longer than we thought she would. But, her passing was a life-changing event that will take me time to heal from.

 

Nobody or no one is exempt from life-events. Not me, not you, no one!

 

Below are some of the things you can do to help you get through it. They sure have helped me.

 

 

Let go of blame

Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes no one is to blame. And yet, it’s so easy for our minds to search for the answer to who is to blame. Too often we blame ourselves for making a certain decision that seemed to cause a domino effect. Or we tell ourselves if we were different somehow, we wouldn’t have made that mistake that leads to the loss. Blame and judgment serve no purpose. In fact, they hold us back from moving forward past the pain.

 

Be extra gentle with yourself

Once you let go of assigning blame, it’s easier to be especially kind to yourself. That means different things to different people. How can you do this? You might take the vacation time you have to give yourself space to grieve. Or you may get a massage or spend time with a trusted, loving friend. Or you might sleep most of the weekend. Whatever it is, it’s fine. Just cut yourself some slack right now – it’s allowed!

 

Allow yourself to feel

The last thing we want is to feel pain and sadness. But doing so is an important part of the healing process. Find a safe place to do that, whether it’s at home alone, with a trusted friend or advisor, or even during your yoga class. Pushing away those “bad” feelings will only intensify how strong they are and how long they last.

During a crisis, ask for help

We often feel shame or embarrassment when chaos ensues in our lives. We look around and see that everyone else’s life looks perfect and we wonder why that isn’t us. The fact is, no one’s life is perfect… ever. We just put our best faces forwards.

It’s safe to ask for help from friends and family who love you. If you feel you need professional help to deal with the situation, that is exactly what you need and you should seek someone out whom you trust. There should be no shame in asking for help during this challenging time.

Only do what’s necessary during this situation

Now is the time to let someone else take over for a while. Take some time off from responsibilities that aren’t vital to you or others’ survival. Step down from committees or from hosting a big party, even if the invitations have already been sent. Just focus on today and what needs to be done, and only that.

To recap:   

  • Let go of blame
  • Be extra gentle with yourself
  • Allow yourself to feel
  • Ask for help
  • Only do what’s necessary

 

If you feel like you need to talk with someone, reach out to someone you trust. You will thank yourself later. Some days are better than others, just give yourself grace when you’re going through changes.

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What You Can Learn When Your Life is in Shambles

What You Can Learn When Your Life is in Shambles

Today we are discussing life in general, but more importantly what you can learn when your life is in shambles. I can hear you saying, “Well, nobody’s life is perfect“, but what if something horrible happens to you or someone you know?

Life can be terribly revealing, can’t it? You can learn to live with disappointment, you just have to acknowledge that you can.

I really love this quote:

“Every event in life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it’s bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.” Deepak Chopra

 

No one wants to go through transitions, but we all will. Things must change because we are growing, evolving beings. We are here to learn what lessons we need to reach our full potential. You want that too, right?

So it may not be all fun and games. But if we want, we can learn important lessons that will serve us well as we move through tough changes.

 

Let me explain…

 

What is Really Important in Life – and What you Can Learn

When things are status quo, we believe the big, external things in life are what matter. What kind of car we drive, what our job title is, and how much money we have in the bank. These are all that seem to matter during our normal daily lives. But when “tragedy” strikes and we lose something of true value, it helps us reassess what is really important in life.

We shift our thinking and start spending time with those people and doing those things that make us really happy. Instead of just following our routine, we go out of our way to do things for other people.

 

That Fear Doesn’t Need to Hold you Back

So often, we feel we have too much to lose to take a big risk and change something we desire to be different. But when it all falls apart, no matter how we try to keep it together, our greatest fears come true.

We see that we really have much less to lose than we thought and that being delightfully happy is worth the risk. We can stop letting fear hold us back and take a plunge into what we’ve always really wanted.

 

Letting Go of STUFF is Freeing

We hang onto stuff like it’s a life raft. It can be material things, people, or situations that deep down we know is no longer making us happy. Often we are just too scared to let it go. When life forces our hand and we lose what we thought we couldn’t live without, we can finally feel free.

Free from holding on so tightly that we focus all of our energy on holding on instead of re-evaluating if we really want it in the first place.

 

You DON’T Have to be Perfect

We spend so much energy trying to be perfect every day of our lives. We beat ourselves up over the tiniest little flaw or mistake. All this struggling is exhausting! And ultimately, the best we can do is to pretend that everything is perfect in our world. Because we are never going to get to a stage where everything is perfect.

When you share your experiences with others whom you trust, you will start to see their masks come down. You will hear about how imperfect their lives are, and yet see that they are still happy.

In the comments below, how does this make you feel? I would be so interested to hear your perspective.

 

What Not to Do When Life is Hard

What Not to Do When Life is Hard

Do you find that life is harder than it needs to be? Yeah, me too sometimes, it’s just reality. Today’s blog is all about what NOT to do when life is hard. You might think that this is ridiculous but it’s really not.

 

Life has its Challenges

 

Here are some points that you might think about:

 

Don’t fall into the blame game

The first thing we typically do when something goes wrong is to blame. We blame others or ourselves, depending on the situation but blaming does no good whatsoever. It’s a waste of energy and keeps us focused on the problem, not the solution. Notice when you feel you want to blame or self-judge and come back to how you can solve the problem instead.

 

Don’t give up – let go


You may feel like giving up when it feels like the sky is falling in. But what is the alternative? Rather than giving up on the possibility of feeling happy again or on your dreams for the future, let go of the attachment to them. This means you should go ahead and dream and take the action that can make those dreams into a reality. But, don’t buy into the belief that if they don’t happen, that you won’t be able to be happy.

What not to do when life is hard

Sometimes FEAR is Controlling

 

Don’t numb yourself

There are many ways we numb ourselves to the pain we feel throughout our lives. Of course, we could use drugs or alcohol, but even more often, we use keeping incredibly busy or tuning out by watching TV or playing mindless games. Even though it’s not fun, it’s important for your healing to experience the pain that you feel. Unless you do that, the pain will stay with you in various forms until you allow yourself to feel it.

 

Don’t isolate yourself

When we are scared, embarrassed, or worried, our natural instinct is to hide away to lick our wounds. Of course, there is a time for that – a time when we need to be alone with our feelings and thoughts but it’s too easy to stay in that place of isolation for longer than is healthy. The less connection we feel to family and friends, the more depressed we become. This almost always increases our feelings of fear and worry. So, make a point to be around the positive, supportive people in your life, even when you don’t feel like it.

 

Don’t hang out with negative people

When you feel like life sucks, you are more vulnerable than at other times when life seems rosy. Being around people who are always complaining or blaming is a sure way to make yourself feel worse. Know that it’s okay to say ‘no thanks’ to invitations that you know will end up in a huge complaining or back-biting session. Instead, get together with people who support your dreams and visions of the future.

 

I know this is a lot to think about but in order to have a great life, you’ve got to go down this road to come out the other side to be happy. Trust me, I’ve been there before and it’s NOT pretty. But life struggles are real, you’ve just got to get through them the best way you can. If you need help I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions.

Contact me using the form below and I’ll be in touch.

 

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What is Hope and Does it Matter?

What is Hope and Does it Matter?

Hope is one of those things that people don’t always understand well, though oddly enough, we all need it to live a happy, healthy life. After all, hope is what helps you see your situation and then shows you the way out. So, what is hope and why does it matter?

Discover some of the ways I’ve mentioned below:

 

What is Hope?

According to the dictionary, hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” Hope sees the potential in a situation. But it does more than that. Take a look at these synonyms taken from the same dictionary.

“aspiration, desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, plan, dream, daydream”

Definition

noun – the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.  verb – (used with object), hoped, hop·ing. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory. verb – (used without object), hoped, hop·ing. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring. Archaic. to place trust; rely (usually followed by in).

What is hope and why does it matter?

Hope isn’t some warm fluffy bit of happiness, nor is it a Pollyanna dose of enthusiasm, though it might contain both emotions. Hope is instead a goal that includes the desire to get there, and the feeling that you can.

 

The thing to realize is that hope is necessary to live. Without it, we not only stagnate, but we also lose our will to live entirely.

 

Hope matters.

 

Does it matter to YOU? Do YOU desire it?

 

Hope gets caught up in the interconnectedness of things. We need hope to realize our dreams, but as a group, our communities likewise need hope to survive. Hope shows us what we live for, and what we fight for.

 

Some other aspects of hope?

 

  • Hope makes us creative. Without hope we wouldn’t go hunting for out-of-the-box solutions to our problems, nor would we waste time trying to find a new way to do things.

 

  • Hope puts us to work. Without hope, there’s no point in even trying to get a project done. Hope tells us to get to work and pushes us to keep going, even when interest in that project flags.

 

  • Hope pushes us past any failure. With hope, we can see our setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Hope ignites our problem-solving abilities, so we understand the better way to do things through experimentation and persistence.

 

  • Hope makes us look toward the future. More than that, it helps us let go of the past so we can welcome our bright future with open arms. Hope sees us as going somewhere, and then shows us the way to get there.

 

The best part about it?

 

It’s contagious and a desire to have

 

If you go out into the world full of hope and enthusiasm, you can be sure to find that reflected at you by those around you, by those who have learned how to hope because you first showed them the way.

 

Reach out to me if you’re looking for help with your mindset. I offer 1×1 mentoring services as well as group mentoring. I would love to help you.

 

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All It Takes Is Confidence In Yourself

All It Takes Is Confidence In Yourself

Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you doubt you can do whatever it is you’ve set out to do? This is perfectly normal. We all do it. You know that all it takes is a little confidence in yourself, right?

Having self-doubt is something everyone faces at some point in their life. And for some of us, it can be a real struggle. You’re not telling this lady anything new. I have lived it myself in my early days of running my business.

Self-Doubt Is Creeping Into Your Confidence

When self-doubt – which is defined as the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities – keeps us from doing what we want to do and from reaching our goals, slap on those brakes!  Because it’s time to take action and work towards overcoming it. Am I right?

Since self-doubt by definition is caused by a lack of confidence, the solution is obvious. We need now to work on becoming more confident.

But how do you go about boosting your self-confidence? Saying “You need to be more confident” is easy, actually doing it can be a little harder, but it can be done.

 

Fake It Until You Make It

I’m serious. As odd as it sounds this actually works. By acting confident, you can trick your mind into becoming a more confident person. Stand up tall, talk with conviction, and take some action. Act like a confident person until you become just that. Come on, just try it!

Confidence

Find A Cheerleader To Boost Your Confidence Level

If you’re the kind of person that thrives on praise and gets a big boost in confidence whenever they receive a compliment, go find yourself a cheerleader. Talk to a friend, find an accountability partner, or hire a coach or mentor. I know a great mentor, it’s ME!

Let them know that you work well with praise and ask them to cheer you on as you work on your confidence. I can totally do this for you…contact me, I have 1×1 mentoring sessions that will help you boost your confidence level.

 

Take On A Challenge

Setting and reaching a goal is another big confidence booster. Set yourself a challenge. It doesn’t matter what it is or what area of your life it applies to. Then tackle it and rise to the challenge. Reaching your goal – whatever it may be – will boost your confidence overall and help you in all areas of your life.

 

Give these three ideas a try and see if you can use them to give yourself a confidence boost anytime you face a challenge. Remember, I have 1×1 mentoring sessions that will help you with your confidence and anything else you might need help with.

 

And don’t stop there… throughout your daily life pay attention to your confidence. Whenever you find yourself slipping back into self-doubt, focus on a confidence-building activity. It won’t take you long to get out of the habit of doubting yourself and becoming the confident and productive person you’ve always wanted to be.

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Daily Optimism-The 5 Benefits

Daily Optimism-The 5 Benefits

There is increasing evidence that being optimistic about life has measurable benefits, not just for your mental health, but your physical well-being too. So, just what are the 5 Benefits of Daily Optimism?

Well, scientific studies have shown that as you become more optimistic, your life will improve in all sorts of ways. You’re even likely to have a longer life, just from being more hopeful and positive.

Among the many benefits of being optimistic are:

  1. Optimists are healthier

Optimists not only rate their own health and wellbeing as better, but studies have also shown that optimists have better mental and physical health than pessimists. In a study of the effects of positive psychological well-being, optimism was found to be the biggest predictor of improved heart health. Optimists also have lower blood pressure and cholesterol and a lower risk of developing heart disease.

  1. Optimists live longer

A study by the University of Pittsburgh found that of the 100,000 women studied over eight years, optimists were less likely to die from any cause than women with a more pessimistic outlook.  That was confirmed by a later Harvard study that showed the women who had a positive outlook had a much lower risk (nearly 30% less) of dying from serious illnesses. So, you can see that using the daily optimism habit is pretty important even to your health.

  1. Optimists are happier

It might seem obvious that an optimist would be happier than a pessimist. But, it has been shown that optimists are not just sunnier in their dispositions, but they are measurably happier in their relationships, jobs, and life in general. They deal better with stress, are more resilient in bad times, and produce less cortisol, the stress hormone that leads to inflammation and a lowered immune system.

Daily Optimism is Key

 

  1. Optimists have smoother career paths

Researchers from Duke University found that the optimistic MBA graduates they studied were more likely to find a job, earn a higher starting salary, and have more frequent promotions than the pessimists in the group. Optimists also deal better with negative feedback, seeing it as an opportunity to improve and increase their chance of promotion in the future.

  1. Optimists roll with the punches

Life’s adversities do not crush an optimist; they remain hopeful about the future. Optimism helps you deal with whatever limiting beliefs you have developed and shows you a way out. Being positive about life’s possibilities means you focus on what you can do. It boosts your confidence and makes you more likely to look for constructive solutions. It stops you from feeling stuck or at the mercy of other people.

If you’re optimistic, you know you can do it!

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5 Benefits of Daily Optimism
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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

 

Join us next time as this series continues with more information about mindset.

How to Keep a Gratitude Journal

How to Keep a Gratitude Journal

Gratitude journaling is a popular tool used by coaches and consultants helping people to improve their health and lives. Studies have shown the benefits of mental and physical health. If you are considering whether this could be something that could help you then you probably have questions about what you need and how to do it. Gratitude journaling is actually very low cost and fairly simple.

 

You will need:

 

Writing implements: You could use a pen or pencil but why not increase the fun and creative aspect of your journaling by adding color and even texture. Different colored pens or pencils, as well as different styles, can make your gratitude journal not just a record of thanks but also a really creative endeavor.

 

Notebook: While you could use a piece of paper, keeping a special notebook for your gratitude journal ensures that you will know exactly where you are writing and allows you to review previous gratitude records. Your notebook can be a plain and simple one or you could splash out on a more decorative one. However, why not consider using a plain notebook and jazzing it up yourself.

 

By decorating a plain notebook or making a book from scratch you are making a greater commitment to the project itself. Your notebook will mean more to you and you will feel a greater connection to it when you use it. After all, if you are writing positive thoughts inside it, you also want to feel happy and proud when you see it.

 

Time Alone: By taking time out away from disturbances you are giving yourself space to think, relax, and write. You’ll also find that you enjoy the experience of being alone and celebrating those things you are thankful for.

 

Now you know what you need it’s time to discover how to do it.

 

Writing Time

 

Collect your journal and whatever you’ve chosen to write with.

 

Find somewhere quiet and that you know you won’t be disturbed. Your journaling time should be a time for reflection and celebration free from outside distractions for the best results.

 

Ensure you are committed to gratitude journaling and that you want to feel happier as well as more grateful as a result. There is no point in just going through the motions of journaling without creating a positive meaningful emotional experience.

 

When you write, instead of creating a long list of things you are grateful for put some real thought into it. Take time to write about a particular event and describe in detail why you are thankful for it. Remember to record how you felt and why.

 

Try to include people you are thankful for as much as you can, not just events. By including specific people and the reasons you are thankful for them you will create a greater emotional impact. It becomes more personal.

 

Include surprises and unexpected events as these will create a stronger sense of gratitude and a more significant emotional impact.

 

Time to Reflect

 

Set yourself a weekly date to write in your gratitude journal. While you could journal every day it may be more beneficial to create a habit of writing in your gratitude journal once a week. This will allow you to plan for it and enjoy it.

 

There are no right or wrong ways to keep a gratitude journal. Everyone’s will be different. However, it is important that you are committed to the process and the outcome, as well as make time for it on a regular basis.

This is the last article in the Journaling Series. I hope you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read and can put it into practice as you go about your life. Remember, you can write all about what you’re grateful for in your business also. Writing in a journal is not just about your personal life. Make it interesting, you might want to go back and read your journal at the end of the year just to see how far you’ve come. I bet you’d be surprised by what you find out about yourself.

 

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