I get it, to be mindful of your professional worth is a topic most professionals put on the back burner. I do it, all. the. time! Why? Because it’s not at the top of my mind, there are so many other things in there that there’s NO time to think about it!
What is “worth” anyway?
Here’s a definition:
Definition of worth (Entry 1 of 4) 1a: monetary value farmhouse and lands of little worth b: the equivalent of a specified amount or figure a dollar’s worth of gas 2: the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held literary heritage of great worth 3a: moral or personal value trying to teach human worth b: MERIT, EXCELLENCE a field in which we have proved our worth 4: WEALTH, RICHES
Ha! Oh, so has that been a problem for you also?
Let’s break it down.
Experience is a Great Teacher
Each day, all of our lives are jam-packed with numerous experiences. A lot of these experiences are everyday occurrences. While others are less common. Occasionally, some are so unique that they are literally life-changing.
However, whether the experience is mundane or out of this world, it offers us a teaching moment. Yes, that’s right Most of us will, hopefully, come away from a unique experience with a fresh perspective. Yet, very few of us grasp the enlightenment that is inherent in the day-to-day activities that, by necessity, take up the majority of our time.
Buddhists call this awareness of the learning potential in the commonplace “mindfulness”. Successful business people understand this concept and utilize it to their advantage. Yes, here’s where it gets important to understand.
Mindfulness vs Value
When you begin to be mindful, you see that everything that you do has merit. You also realize that no matter what you are doing, you are capable of doing it better. Hummm…
To be mindful of your professional worth is to take action to find out what your actual worth is. Check out my new workbook so YOU can take action too!
In business, this means that you begin to pay closer attention to every task. You understand that each task fits into others and together they comprise the whole of your business enterprise.
If you take a shortcut or cut corners on the smallest of things it only serves to undermine the largest and seemingly most important jobs.
Likewise, when you attempt to do the most basic of jobs to the very best of your ability, this mindful mindset carries over into other areas and brings a new level of excellence to your entire enterprise. So, use every experience, every day, as a moment to learn.
Be mindful of bad or lazy behaviors and work to change them into more positive and productive actions. You’re only hurting yourself in the long run.
Your entire business will benefit from this simple attention to detail.
Get my workbook for “How To Get Paid What You Are Worth” using this link: Get My Workbook
If you’re looking for someone to help you, I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions that will benefit you. Just fill out the form below and let’s get you started. It’s one way that I can help you thrive in your business.
A conversation between you (in the blue writing) and me explaining about growth mindset:
So, you may be asking yourself “What exactly is a growth mindset?” Well, a growth mindset is an actual, demonstrable psychological phenomenon.
Huh? I don’t get it!
It turns out that many long-term successful individuals possess certain characteristics that they share with other long-term successful individuals. This set of characteristics has been termed a “growth mindset”.
Oh, now that explains it!
Now, some people, who tend to achieve less than their full potential, also possess a set of characteristics that they share with other under-achievers. This set of traits has been dubbed the “fixed mindset”. Most people, more or less, fall into one camp or the other.
Oh, I see now.
Do YOU Have It?
People with a growth mindset tend to have a desire to learn from life. This desire leads to the ability to embrace challenges, to overcome setbacks, to see effort as worth the results, to accept criticism, and to admire and learn from the successes of others.
Oh, do you think that’s ME?
These behaviors allow native intelligence to grow throughout a lifetime. (Hence, the name.) People with a growth mindset are believers in free will and this belief allows them to achieve their goals time and time again.
Oh yeah, I want to be this person!
People with a fixed mindset tend to have a desire to appear smart, with a corresponding fear of looking foolish. Their desire leads them to avoid challenges, to give up easily, to see extra effort as wasted, to ignore or reject criticism, and to envy and begrudge the success of others.
Oh, oh…this isn’t me!
These behaviors tend to limit native intelligence to a fixed amount. (Again, hence the name.) People with a fixed mindset often plateau early in life and fail to have, let alone reach, fixed goals.
The good news is that a growth mindset can be cultivated fairly easily by changing some critical behaviors.
First of all, you have to decide to choose growth over stagnation. You also have to be willing to take positive action and begin to accept challenges and criticism and learning from both.
An excellent way to begin is by developing the philosophy of “YET”. This simple step simple attaches the word “yet” to the end of every negative thought, as in “That will never work, yet…” or “It’s probably not worth going, yet…”
This simple trick opens up the possibility for growth and that possibility leads to changed behavior that actually does cause the development of the growth mindset.
There are a lot of different factors that come into play when it comes to being successful in business. Today, let’s focus on two of them, how to be on time and organized.
These two factors can make a HUGE difference in your day-to-day life. Once you have mastered these, you will be able to move faster in your business because they are a major stumbling block for new business owners.
Think back on some of the most successful people you’ve met in your own life. The chances are they were good at both of these – being organized and on time. There’s a reason why both of these factors will make such a big difference when it comes to being successful. Can you name at least one or two?
How Being On-Time And Being Organized Can Help You Succeed
Both being on time and organized can help you make the best possible use of your time and energy. When referring to energy, it includes both mental and physical energy. We all have a limited supply of both, along with being restricted to 24 hours on a given day. In other words, both time and energy are limited resources. What being on time and staying organized helps with is making the most of those resources and focusing them on tasks and activities that help us reach the goals that define success.
There are two different ways in which being both on time and organized will help you succeed. Let’s look at both of them and then briefly discuss how to get better at them.
Being On-Time And Being Organized Saves You Time
So, how much time have you wasted this week looking for a misplaced item or a file on your hard-drive? How about your car keys? And, how much time have you wasted because you didn’t show up on time for an appointment and ended up having to wait? Making an effort to be on time and staying organized helps you save precious time and energy.
Being on time is all about time management and awareness. Work will always stretch out into however much time you give it. Becoming more aware and better at time management will help you work more efficiently.
The same is true for being well organized.
Being Organized and On-Time Helps You Look Professional
Showing up late for an appointment or interview makes you look bad. So does not being prepared or having to dig around for a few minutes to find something needed like a pen or a notepad. This is particularly true when it comes to first impressions. Work on getting better at both by trying harder to be prepared.
It will help you get the chances you deserve, and people see you as the respected person or expert in your field that you are.
How To Get Better At Both
You now know why it’s important to work on getting organized and being on time.
So, let’s look at how we can improve both those skills.
What it comes down to is getting into the habit of being conscious of time and staying on top of organizational tasks. Yes, if you’re exceptionally disorganized, it will take some up-front work to clear things up. Once completed though, you have to make an effort day in and day out to put things back in their place and stay organized.
That is true for physical items, digital items, and even thoughts and ideas. The short answer then is to practice both being on time and staying organized on a daily basis until they become habits.
It’s said that it takes 21 days to make a new habit stick. Here’s a free tracker to help you master your new habits.
And if you need additional help, I’m always available to chat with you to discuss how you can master your habits. Book an appointment with me here for a free 15-minute chat.
We’ve all been there, right? It’s just another thing we have to go through in life, but what the heck! So what are you supposed to do when life throws you lemons? What do you do if you have major life transitions that show up in your life?
Let’s discuss this and see if this helps you with your life transitions.
Here are 8 things to remember when going through major life transitions.
You may have heard each of these more than once before, but they have a whole new meaning when you are going through a major life transition and it feels like everything’s falling apart.
You Aren’t Alone
Everyone goes through challenging times, they just don’t tend to advertise it. You can rest assured that your friends and family understand your feelings and will be willing to help you in any way they can.
It’s Okay to Cut yourself Some Slack
There’s no doubt that you will need time to experience all of the feelings that come about with a major life change. Give yourself a break from all the unimportant or non-urgent things that tend to fill up life. Just take it easy and heal your heart.
All Things are Impermanent
It feels like this confusion and pain will last forever, that you’ll never be happy again, but that isn’t true. Everything in life changes. Nothing is permanent. You can trust that this transition is just that – a change that will eventually settle into a new opportunity.
Life is Change
Just like nature, life is all about change. The winter gives way to spring. The flowers bloom and then hibernate. The moon wanes and waxes. Life will always have ups and downs that we can’t always see coming.
It’s okay to let go of things that aren’t serving you – We like to keep the status quo because it makes us feel safe. But, at some point, we have to let go of things such as people and situations that are holding us back from our highest good. Though it’s not always easy, it’s a natural part of life.
There is always something to be grateful for – Your life may look grim, but if you want to find goodness and beauty in your life, you can. You may not have the same life you had two weeks ago, but you have friends who love you. You can appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Every life has wondrous things in it, we just have to notice them.
It’s okay to say no to negativity – While you surely have friends and family who are loving and supportive, it’s also possible that there are a few negative Nelly’s in your environment also. Especially now, it’s a good idea to say no to their invitations to hang out.
When you feel stronger, you can decide if they are someone you want to continue to have a relationship with. But for now, just say no – as nicely as you can.
Looking for help? Need someone to talk to but don’t want anyone inside your circle to know what’s going on with you? I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions, so if you want to chat just give me a shout out.
Has something terrible happened to you or someone you know? Because no one escapes a major life change in this world. It is painful to know that you’ve lost something you aren’t sure you can live without. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or something else entirely, there are things you can and should do after experiencing a major loss. Below are 5 Things to Do After a Life-Altering Event. I hope that it helps you as much as it’s helped me.
I recently lost my beautiful cat that I had for over 18 years. She was my baby, the last of the kittens we had watched grow up to a full-grown cat. I got her when she was only 6 weeks old and she was so special to me. She was silly, did so many funny things, and loved all the people she lived with that took care of her. Unfortunately, she had cancer and she died just before Halloween a few months ago. I’m still mourning my pretty Izzy B. It was nobody’s fault that she died, she fought a good fight and lasted longer than we thought she would. But, her passing was a life-changing event that will take me time to heal from.
Nobody or no one is exempt from life-events. Not me, not you, no one!
Below are some of the things you can do to help you get through it. They sure have helped me.
Let go of blame
Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes no one is to blame. And yet, it’s so easy for our minds to search for the answer to who is to blame. Too often we blame ourselves for making a certain decision that seemed to cause a domino effect. Or we tell ourselves if we were different somehow, we wouldn’t have made that mistake that leads to the loss. Blame and judgment serve no purpose. In fact, they hold us back from moving forward past the pain.
Be extra gentle with yourself
Once you let go of assigning blame, it’s easier to be especially kind to yourself. That means different things to different people. How can you do this? You might take the vacation time you have to give yourself space to grieve. Or you may get a massage or spend time with a trusted, loving friend. Or you might sleep most of the weekend. Whatever it is, it’s fine. Just cut yourself some slack right now – it’s allowed!
Allow yourself to feel
The last thing we want is to feel pain and sadness. But doing so is an important part of the healing process. Find a safe place to do that, whether it’s at home alone, with a trusted friend or advisor, or even during your yoga class. Pushing away those “bad” feelings will only intensify how strong they are and how long they last.
During a crisis, ask for help
We often feel shame or embarrassment when chaos ensues in our lives. We look around and see that everyone else’s life looks perfect and we wonder why that isn’t us. The fact is, no one’s life is perfect… ever. We just put our best faces forwards.
It’s safe to ask for help from friends and family who love you. If you feel you need professional help to deal with the situation, that is exactly what you need and you should seek someone out whom you trust. There should be no shame in asking for help during this challenging time.
Only do what’s necessary during this situation
Now is the time to let someone else take over for a while. Take some time off from responsibilities that aren’t vital to you or others’ survival. Step down from committees or from hosting a big party, even if the invitations have already been sent. Just focus on today and what needs to be done, and only that.
Let go of blame
Be extra gentle with yourself
Allow yourself to feel
Ask for help
Only do what’s necessary
If you feel like you need to talk with someone, reach out to someone you trust. You will thank yourself later. Some days are better than others, just give yourself grace when you’re going through changes.
Today we are discussing life in general, but more importantly what you can learn when your life is in shambles. I can hear you saying, “Well, nobody’s life is perfect“, but what if something horrible happens to you or someone you know?
Life can be terribly revealing, can’t it? You can learn to live with disappointment, you just have to acknowledge that you can.
I really love this quote:
“Every event in life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it’s bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.”Deepak Chopra
No one wants to go through transitions, but we all will. Things must change because we are growing, evolving beings. We are here to learn what lessons we need to reach our full potential. You want that too, right?
So it may not be all fun and games. But if we want, we can learn important lessons that will serve us well as we move through tough changes.
Let me explain…
What is Really Important in Life – and What you Can Learn
When things are status quo, we believe the big, external things in life are what matter. What kind of car we drive, what our job title is, and how much money we have in the bank. These are all that seem to matter during our normal daily lives. But when “tragedy” strikes and we lose something of true value, it helps us reassess what is really important in life.
We shift our thinking and start spending time with those people and doing those things that make us really happy. Instead of just following our routine, we go out of our way to do things for other people.
That Fear Doesn’t Need to Hold you Back
So often, we feel we have too much to lose to take a big risk and change something we desire to be different. But when it all falls apart, no matter how we try to keep it together, our greatest fears come true.
We see that we really have much less to lose than we thought and that being delightfully happy is worth the risk. We can stop letting fear hold us back and take a plunge into what we’ve always really wanted.
Letting Go of STUFF is Freeing
We hang onto stuff like it’s a life raft. It can be material things, people, or situations that deep down we know is no longer making us happy. Often we are just too scared to let it go. When life forces our hand and we lose what we thought we couldn’t live without, we can finally feel free.
Free from holding on so tightly that we focus all of our energy on holding on instead of re-evaluating if we really want it in the first place.
You DON’T Have to be Perfect
We spend so much energy trying to be perfect every day of our lives. We beat ourselves up over the tiniest little flaw or mistake. All this struggling is exhausting! And ultimately, the best we can do is to pretend that everything is perfect in our world. Because we are never going to get to a stage where everything is perfect.
When you share your experiences with others whom you trust, you will start to see their masks come down. You will hear about how imperfect their lives are, and yet see that they are still happy.
In the comments below, how does this make you feel? I would be so interested to hear your perspective.
Do you find that life is harder than it needs to be? Yeah, me too sometimes, it’s just reality. Today’s blog is all about what NOT to do when life is hard. You might think that this is ridiculous but it’s really not.
Life has its Challenges
Here are some points that you might think about:
Don’t fall into the blame game
The first thing we typically do when something goes wrong is to blame. We blame others or ourselves, depending on the situation but blaming does no good whatsoever. It’s a waste of energy and keeps us focused on the problem, not the solution. Notice when you feel you want to blame or self-judge and come back to how you can solve the problem instead.
Don’t give up – let go
You may feel like giving up when it feels like the sky is falling in. But what is the alternative? Rather than giving up on the possibility of feeling happy again or on your dreams for the future, let go of the attachment to them. This means you should go ahead and dream and take the action that can make those dreams into a reality. But, don’t buy into the belief that if they don’t happen, that you won’t be able to be happy.
Sometimes FEAR is Controlling
Don’t numb yourself
There are many ways we numb ourselves to the pain we feel throughout our lives. Of course, we could use drugs or alcohol, but even more often, we use keeping incredibly busy or tuning out by watching TV or playing mindless games. Even though it’s not fun, it’s important for your healing to experience the pain that you feel. Unless you do that, the pain will stay with you in various forms until you allow yourself to feel it.
Don’t isolate yourself
When we are scared, embarrassed, or worried, our natural instinct is to hide away to lick our wounds. Of course, there is a time for that – a time when we need to be alone with our feelings and thoughts but it’s too easy to stay in that place of isolation for longer than is healthy. The less connection we feel to family and friends, the more depressed we become. This almost always increases our feelings of fear and worry. So, make a point to be around the positive, supportive people in your life, even when you don’t feel like it.
Don’t hang out with negative people
When you feel like life sucks, you are more vulnerable than at other times when life seems rosy. Being around people who are always complaining or blaming is a sure way to make yourself feel worse. Know that it’s okay to say ‘no thanks’ to invitations that you know will end up in a huge complaining or back-biting session. Instead, get together with people who support your dreams and visions of the future.
I know this is a lot to think about but in order to have a great life, you’ve got to go down this road to come out the other side to be happy. Trust me, I’ve been there before and it’s NOT pretty. But life struggles are real, you’ve just got to get through them the best way you can. If you need help I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions.
Contact me using the form below and I’ll be in touch.
Hope is one of those things that people don’t always understand well, though oddly enough, we all need it to live a happy, healthy life. After all, hope is what helps you see your situation and then shows you the way out. So, what is hope and why does it matter?
Discover some of the ways I’ve mentioned below:
What is Hope?
According to the dictionary, hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” Hope sees the potential in a situation. But it does more than that. Take a look at these synonyms taken from the same dictionary.
noun – the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning. verb – (used with object), hoped, hop·ing. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory. verb – (used without object), hoped, hop·ing. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring. Archaic. to place trust; rely (usually followed by in).
Hope isn’t some warm fluffy bit of happiness, nor is it a Pollyanna dose of enthusiasm, though it might contain both emotions. Hope is instead a goal that includes the desire to get there, and the feeling that you can.
The thing to realize is that hope is necessary to live. Without it, we not only stagnate, but we also lose our will to live entirely.
Does it matter to YOU? Do YOU desire it?
Hope gets caught up in the interconnectedness of things. We need hope to realize our dreams, but as a group, our communities likewise need hope to survive. Hope shows us what we live for, and what we fight for.
Some other aspects of hope?
Hope makes us creative. Without hope we wouldn’t go hunting for out-of-the-box solutions to our problems, nor would we waste time trying to find a new way to do things.
Hope puts us to work. Without hope, there’s no point in even trying to get a project done. Hope tells us to get to work and pushes us to keep going, even when interest in that project flags.
Hope pushes us past any failure. With hope, we can see our setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Hope ignites our problem-solving abilities, so we understand the better way to do things through experimentation and persistence.
Hope makes us look toward the future. More than that, it helps us let go of the past so we can welcome our bright future with open arms. Hope sees us as going somewhere, and then shows us the way to get there.
The best part about it?
It’s contagious and a desire to have
If you go out into the world full of hope and enthusiasm, you can be sure to find that reflected at you by those around you, by those who have learned how to hope because you first showed them the way.
Reach out to me if you’re looking for help with your mindset. I offer 1×1 mentoring services as well as group mentoring. I would love to help you.
Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you doubt you can do whatever it is you’ve set out to do? This is perfectly normal. We all do it. You know that all it takes is a little confidence in yourself, right?
Having self-doubt is something everyone faces at some point in their life. And for some of us, it can be a real struggle. You’re not telling this lady anything new. I have lived it myself in my early days of running my business.
Self-Doubt Is Creeping Into Your Confidence
When self-doubt – which is defined as the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities – keeps us from doing what we want to do and from reaching our goals, slap on those brakes! Because it’s time to take action and work towards overcoming it. Am I right?
Since self-doubt by definition is caused by a lack of confidence, the solution is obvious. We need now to work on becoming more confident.
But how do you go about boosting your self-confidence? Saying “You need to be more confident” is easy, actually doing it can be a little harder, but it can be done.
Fake It Until You Make It
I’m serious. As odd as it sounds this actually works. By acting confident, you can trick your mindinto becoming a more confident person. Stand up tall, talk with conviction, and take some action. Act like a confident person until you become just that. Come on, just try it!
Find A Cheerleader To Boost Your Confidence Level
If you’re the kind of person that thrives on praise and gets a big boost in confidence whenever they receive a compliment, go find yourself a cheerleader. Talk to a friend, find an accountability partner, or hire a coach or mentor. I know a great mentor, it’s ME!
Let them know that you work well with praise and ask them to cheer you on as you work on your confidence. I can totally do this for you…contact me, I have 1×1 mentoring sessions that will help you boost your confidence level.
Take On A Challenge
Setting and reaching a goal is another big confidence booster. Set yourself a challenge. It doesn’t matter what it is or what area of your life it applies to. Then tackle it and rise to the challenge. Reaching your goal – whatever it may be – will boost your confidence overall and help you in all areas of your life.
Give these three ideas a try and see if you can use them to give yourself a confidence boost anytime you face a challenge. Remember, I have 1×1 mentoring sessions that will help you with your confidence and anything else you might need help with.
And don’t stop there… throughout your daily life pay attention to your confidence. Whenever you find yourself slipping back into self-doubt, focus on a confidence-building activity. It won’t take you long to get out of the habit of doubting yourself and becoming the confident and productive person you’ve always wanted to be.
Cultivating optimism is pretty easy, but you might be surprised to hear that optimism is not an innate quality. Optimism and pessimism are ways of looking at yourself and the world through a positive or negative filter. Once you think of them as reflections of your mindset, it becomes much easier to believe you can change. Like any new behavior, you need to practice every day for it to become a habit. So how does cultivating optimism work?
You can try these six suggestions:
Keep a journal
Journaling or keeping a diary allows you to process events and to get a different perspective on them. It encourages self-reflection and captures insights into your thinking and behavior.
You can write down what happened during your day and document, not just the bald facts but how you did it, what you did to make it happen, and what you did right. And, importantly, how it felt while you were doing it.
Don’t just record the good things (a promotion, a presentation, or meeting that went well). Remember to write down the thing that didn’t go so well and reflect on what happened, how you dealt with it, and what you might do differently next time.
In case you missed it, there is an entire series about journaling that was posted. For the first in the series, you’ll want to check it out here.
Laugh to Cultivate Optimism
Consciously notice the funny side of things and write them down. So, if the technology didn’t work, and you had to give the presentation without the slide deck, just laugh about it to your audience. I’m sure that they will understand. Tech doesn’t always work because sometimes the power might go out.
Maybe there was a fire drill in the middle of your crucial meeting. What can seem like a disaster at the time can also be looked back on as a comedy of errors.
Like yesterday, I was attending a webinar when the internet went down, this was not the person’s fault. The entire internet when down in their area. You just have to laugh about it and just reschedule it, which is exactly what this person did.
Write to your future
Write a letter or a journal entry that sets out the future you want. What job are you doing? Are you running your own business? What have you learned? What has changed? Imagining how your future life looks and feels can be a powerful motivator. Just like positive thinking will help you get out of negative headspace.
Keep a kindness list
Have a page in your journal where you note down kind gestures. Write down when you are kind to someone, or when someone is kind to you. Even little things count, like opening a door for someone or letting them go first in the line for coffee. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they mount up, and your ever-lengthening list will give you a different perspective on things.
Here’s a HUGE one for cultivating optimism
Say thank you
Write a letter or email, phone or visit someone (a person outside your family) who has been genuinely kind to you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they did or said and how it has affected your life.
I’m sure that there are plenty of people that come into your life you can practice this on. Just think about it, there will be people that pop into your mind.
Make a positive choice to develop and maintain an optimistic outlook. Do this every morning when you wake up. Decide that today is going to be a great day. Everyone will have some level of suffering in their life. Choosing to be optimistic will make it easier to bounce back from the bad times and to enjoy and be certain of the good times.
If you’re looking for help with any mindset issues, please contact me by using the form below. Let’s set up a call so we can get to know each other, it’s the best way I know how to help you.