The Benefits & Problems of Being a Good Listener
How many times have you listened to someone and found that you have come away knowing them better for it? When a person speaks, they reveal a lot about themselves. So if you want to know a person better and understand their motives, dreams, and desires, then it makes sense to listen more closely. The Benefits & Problems of Being a Good Listener is important.
While most of us can hear, not all people have the ability to listen as attentively as others. This is why listening is often listed as a desired skill set.
Be a Good Listener
When you start to listen to a person you gain more insights such as:
* Understanding what they expect of themselves and you
* Build better relationships with family, friends and your coworkers
* You will be able to resolve issues more quickly
* Have a better understanding of what people are trying to tell you
* Know how to respond properly
* You will become a trusted and respected person
Are YOU a Good Listener?
The moment you present yourself as someone who is not listening, your trust level drops substantially. There are actually physical and mental barriers that you need to overcome in order to become good at listening.
The most common ones include things like:
* Language and accent barriers
* Noise levels
* Poor attention span
* Hearing issues
Some of these barriers are going to prevent even the best listener to fully understand the issue. A great example of this is trying to listen to someone who is not speaking their native language. They may use the correct words, but the biggest handicap is their accent. No matter how hard they try to pronounce words correctly they are just not understood.
Understanding & Trusting Others
So what can you do if you are having a hard time understanding someone? A good active listener will often try to do the following things to improve their comprehension of the situation.
* Move in a little closer
* Maintain eye contact
* Nod and smile to indicate that you are listening
* Ask appropriate questions
* Try to clarify the issue in your own words
By doing these things you are showing the person that you are doing your best to understand them. This can be very helpful and can put the person speaking at ease. Quite often they are feeling stressed out, nervous and anxious.
By helping them to put their feelings behind them, they can often explain the situation better.
As you can see it is not that difficult to improve your listening skills. Just be aware that there are problems that can prevent you from fully understanding people sometimes.
Share Your Heart & Practice Empathy
We trust people around us who are open and honest with us. We like and trust people who aren’t afraid to share what they feel and what they are passionate about. Share Your Heart & Practice Empathy – yeah, how do you do that?
In other words, we’re willing to be vulnerable around others who aren’t afraid to share their heart. Thus, it’s only logical that if you want to get closer to those around you, pull them in, and get them on your side so to speak, you should open your own heart and share what’s important to you.
Share YOUR Passion
It’s not always easy to make yourself vulnerable by sharing your passions and ideas, but it will pay off in the right context.
If you’re trying to get your team on board with a big idea that will improve the company, the work environment, or how your department works, don’t be afraid to let your passion and excitement show. It can be quite contagious and if nothing else, it communicates how important this is to you and that you’re doing it to better the work environment or job security for everyone on the team.
The Easy Button
This, like many other “people skills” will come easier to some than others. If you’re in the habit of keeping your feelings and important thoughts to yourself, it will take some conscious effort and practice to get in the habit of sharing your heart.
Start small and among people like close friends or family that you feel relatively safe in doing so.
As time goes by, keep practicing and widening the circle of people you share your heart with until it becomes part of who you are.
Skils – skills – skills
Another important skill that’s worth developing is empathy. Empathy is being able to recognize what the other person feels and what motivates them. Here’s why this is important. At our core, we’re motivated by what’s in it for us. When you’re able to empathize, you’re able to see what will motivate the other person and what they could get out of whatever it is you want to accomplish.
When you can communicate that well, it becomes easy to get people on your side and get them on board with what you want to do.
Are YOU Empathic?
Some people are naturally empathic, while others have to work at it a little harder. Try to put yourself into the other person’s shoes. Think about how things affect them from their point of view. The better you get at viewing things from their side, and figuring out what motivates and drives them, the easier it will become to use the right words, acts, and motivators to win them over.
When people treat you wrong, it is very easy to hold a grudge. You may not understand how it could be possible to forgive someone for a slight, especially if the action was especially hurtful. Maybe you think forgiveness is about the other person and somehow, they benefit from you forgiving them. Forgiveness is not about the other person; it is about you.
Do YOU Know How To Forgive?
Forgiving another person does not always mean they stay in your life. Sometimes you do not even let them know you are forgiving them. You do not even need to trust them again. Just forgive them to eliminate the negativity in your life.
Even horrific crimes can be forgiven. For safety reasons, you may want to use an indirect way of forgiving them instead of contacting them directly. Write a letter as if you plan on sending it to the other person. Talk about how what they did made you feel, and about how it made you think about yourself. Write about how you are no longer going to allow them space in your head and how you forgive them for what they did to you.
When you finish writing, seal up the letter in an envelope and put their name on the front. Then either throw it away (shred it first!) or burn the letter. It does not have to actually be read by the person you are forgiving, this exercise is to help you get past the negativity and the chains that are holding you back as a person.
If you find you can’t forgive on your own, you may want to talk with a professional. Therapy can really help you get past this hurdle. Especially if the person committed a serious crime. If you have been abused, particularly over a long period of time, you may need therapy to help you get past what was done to you. There is nothing wrong with seeking help.
And After – Forgiveness
Once you have forgiven the other person, you will feel like a weight has been lifted, or chains have been removed. Grudges are not healthy for you and they do not affect the other person. When you bottle up negative feelings, you can increase your risks of developing heart disease, and other health conditions. You tend to age faster as well. Not forgiving others can dim your overall outlook on life, so why put yourself through all of that?
Remember that forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about eliminating the negativity in your own life.
So free yourself today by forgiving others for the wrongs they have done to you.
The best way to eliminate negativity is to develop a positive attitude. Your thoughts and outlook on life have a profound effect on how you live your life. They are also contagious and affect those around you. You can’t have both positive and negative in the same space. So why not focus on turning the negativity into something more positive?
You will find you have more energy and enthusiasm when you have a more positive attitude. People will want to be around you more and will be more positive as well, leading to a cascade effect. Negativity tends to bring you down and steal away your energy. It can also cause health issues over time.
Some ways you can develop a more positive attitude are:
Read Books about Positive Thinking
There are many books out there that can teach you about how to develop a positive mindset and eliminate the negativity in your life. Reading is not only a great way to learn, but it helps your brain build more connections which keep it healthy for a longer time. You can even find many very good books on this subject in your local library and read them for free.
Affirmations are a way of reprogramming the negative thoughts you tell yourself – and in many cases, you may not even be aware that you have them. By doing affirmations, you can change these negative thoughts into positive ones. You can start thinking better of yourself.
Meditation is a great way to help eliminate negativity and turn it into positive thinking. It also reduces stress. Because you get past the conscious level, you can really help reprogram your mindset with meditation. If you combine this with the affirmations, you can increase the results.
Spend time with positive people
How to Eliminate Negativity
Try to eliminate or limit contact with people who tend to have a negative mindset. Sometimes you can’t completely break off contact with them, especially if they are family or people you work with, but as much as possible try to spend time with positive people. Not only will you find it easier to be positive around them, but you may learn new ways to help yourself be more positive.
Just Do It
You can eliminate negativity if you set your mind to it and use tools and techniques to make it happen. You will not only feel better about yourself and have more energy and zest for life, but you will be physically healthier. Negative people drain their mental and physical well-being of their mindset. So, learn to have a positive attitude.
How to Be Kind
Being kind isn’t difficult. Once you set your mindset to ‘Kind,’ you’ll notice all sorts of opportunities throughout your day to reach out and be kind to someone.
As a bonus, once you’re in the kindness loop, you’ll notice you feel happier and more fulfilled. Scientists call this ‘the helper’s high’ as altruistic acts trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high’!
Here are some simple everyday ways of including kindness in your day.
1. Stop to let a pedestrian cross the street or to allow another driver into the traffic.
2. Say please and thank you.
3. Say good morning and good night to your colleagues.
4. Smile at a stranger.
5. Hold the door for the next person.
6. Hold the elevator.
7. Let someone with only a few items go in front of you in the grocery store.
8. Do a coffee run for your colleagues.
9. Hug your loved ones.
Here are a few more
10. Push the trash bins out for your neighbors.
11. Mow your elderly neighbor’s lawn.
12. If you’re going to the store, ask your neighbor if you can pick anything up for them.
13. Try volunteering at your local soup kitchen or shelter.
14. Be the bigger person and let the other guy have the coveted parking space.
15. Stand up for someone on the bus or subway.
16. Ask a stressed-out co-worker if you can help.
17. Help wash the cups after a meeting.
18. If the photocopier is running on empty, replace the toner and fill the paper bin.
19. Buy surprise flowers for your partner.
20. Give some coins to a street entertainer.
And a Few More
21. Pledge to stop grousing for a week.
22. Join your company’s mentor or buddy program.
23. Leave a book or magazine on the subway or in a bus station.
24. Donate your excess art supplies or craft materials to an elementary school.
25. Encourage your kids to sort through their stuff and donate items in good condition to charity.
26. Donate money to your favorite charity or non-government organization.
27. Notice what your partner or colleagues are wearing and pay a few compliments.
28. Ask friends or colleagues how they are, and listen to the answers.
29. Reach out to family members or friends, send a text message, or call them to see how they are.
30. Clean up your neighborhood. If you see trash in the street, pick it up and put it in the bin.
How to Boost your Productivity
First, quiet your mind and focus on How to Boost your Productivity. We need to be more proficient in our work to accomplish more. In many cases, people fail to be productive because they lose focus and let their minds wander, leading to a loss in productivity.
The key is to focus your mind on the task at hand. Block out all other distractions and thoughts that are unrelated to the task at hand.
• Failure to put aside thoughts unrelated to the task at hand will only slow you down and lead to a higher probability of mistakes.
• Get a good night’s sleep every night to boost focus and productivity, reduce mistakes.
• Don’t let other issues or problems bother you.
Basic Ingredients Of Productivity
There are three basic ingredients to productivity:
Without all three of these ingredients, your productivity will be lower than it can be. And then you won’t achieve the amount of success you are expecting.
How To Measure Your Productivity
Dictionary.com defines productivity as “the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services.”
Boost Your Productivity
• In other words, its the amount of effort and time that the worker puts in and how many units of production he/she produces in that time span.
If a worker produces one unit (say, one ebook) an hour and another worker produces two units (say, two ebooks) in one hour, then the second worker is two times more productive than the first worker.
Being more productive means being better able to manage one’s time. Focusing one’s attention on the tasks required. And/or utilize the energy necessary to complete the tasks required in the same time period as another worker.
In order to boost your productivity, you need to be able to produce more of the product. Or provide more of the service you deliver in the same amount of time or less than you have before.
When it comes to businesses, it’s not just your production. It’s the production of your subcontractors who work for you, that account for your total productivity.
Start Laying A Productive Foundation
First, you need to eliminate all distractions from your work area and clear your mind of any doubts and/or worries you may have.
You also need to be totally focused and invested in the working process. This allows you to produce the maximum number of products/content and/or render the most services within a specific time span.
Have A Plan
Have a clear plan of what needs to be done in terms of tasks and projects and how to go about best doing them.
• In regards to subcontractors, have an agenda of tasks and projects to complete. Also, a time table on which you can expect them to complete them.
• Then lay down the ground rules on what needs to be done and how quickly they should be done.
Boost Your Productivity
Implement simple time management techniques. You must manage your time as efficiently as possible in order to be as productive as possible. And, monitor your time very carefully. Ensure that you are working efficiently during the times you are working. This will enable you are utilizing your time to the best of your ability.
• Note how long you think it will take you to complete a project on a piece of paper, in a text file, or in a spreadsheet file.
• Time how long it takes you to complete specific tasks.
• Time how long your work periods are, your breaks are, and how long any distractions are.
Try using the clock on your computer and/or mobile device. Or use an online timer to record the respective time periods. Then compare the time it took you to complete the project versus the time you expected. If you met or beat that time, reward yourself.
If you took longer than expected, review what slowed you down. Was it distractions, lack of focus, the task was more difficult than expected- then make adjustments.
You can make this into a game or challenge to where you challenge yourself to get more done in less time to improve your productivity.
There are online timers that have bells or other sounds that can help you use the Pomodoro Technique. This will allow 15- to 30-minute work periods. It will be followed by 3- to 5 minute rest periods three times. Then after the fourth 15- to 30-minute work period, a 15- to 30-minute rest period.
Removing The Unimportant Tasks
It’s vital that you prepare for work ahead of time so minor/menial and repetitive tasks don’t slow you down.
Consider what tasks are actually important to your business and which aren’t.
• Tasks such as email and social media should be done during break periods, lunch periods, and/or outside-of-work periods, not while the main work is being done.
If you run a business, only do the tasks you are proficient at and enjoy; send all other tasks to subcontractors for maximum productivity and profitability. This will solve a lot of time for you in the long run.
Pursue An All-Around Productive Life
Having an all-around productive life means that you are productive in all facets of it, not just in business.
• Increased productivity can include assembling items, grocery shopping, etc.
• Productivity means doing any task in the most efficient manner possible. This will help you maximize the value of every minute and every second so that you get the most out of them as possible.
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