Today’s article discusses why new beginnings make us so scared. If you’ve ever experienced a new beginning, or if you are currently preparing for one now, you probably feel a combination of both fear and stress. And these feelings are completely natural as new beginnings scare everyone in one way or another. This fear is occurring for many reasons you may not even realize.
The Preliminaries – Something Is Ending
The number one reasonnew beginnings scare us so much isn’t that something new is starting. But rather something which made us happy before is ending. Change is natural, even though it may not feel natural at the time.
Just remember that when something ends, it’s because something better is coming for you. Don’t try to hang onto something which is falling apart. This can make the new beginning even more difficult if you are still grasping for the past. Instead, be grateful the past happened and commit yourself to moving forward.
Fear Of The Unknown – The First Stage
When you start over either in a new location or job, you have no idea what this change will bring you. You don’t know that it will be better or more fun. You hope it will be, which breeds fear. Humans are naturally built to fear what they are uncertain about. But don’t let the fear scare you, instead push forward and tell yourself that this change will be for the better. You may just be surprised at the power a positive outlook can have.
Your Last New Beginning May Not Have Worked
If you’ve changed your life drastically a few times, there’s a chance that the idea you may fail in another new beginning is contributing to your fear. But don’t let these emotions control you. Why New Beginnings Make Us So Scared is a natural process. As mentioned above, your outlook is a huge part of your success in this new situation.
Remember why your last new beginnings didn’t work out and use this knowledge not to make the same mistakes again. And most of all, believe in yourself because you can do it!
New beginnings scare everyone. After all, to have a new beginning, something else had to have ended. But don’t let the fear of the unknown or past mistakes lead to fear of new beginnings. Instead, know that new beginnings are a good and necessary part of life, and your fear will likely lessen if you embrace the coming change with open arms.
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No doubt about it, our brains are pretty magnificent. Talk about multitasking! We all do it – watch television, read a magazine, realize how great the evening meal smells in the kitchen, listen to the person in the room with us, and be excited about plans for the weekend – all at the same time. We can do this because of our brain’s ability to make all kinds of connections. Our Brains and How They Work is our topic for discussion this week.
Our Brains and How They Work
Our brains have developed over thousands of years. For additional facts on the brain, you can read this informative article located here The Brain.
The basic construction of the brain is divided into three parts:
Primitive brain – this brain region is about the size of an apricot. It controls our essential functions like blood circulation, reading, and indigestion. It also contains our “fight or flight” response to danger and decides whether we will stay and fight or run away. It’s also believed that when we are in stressful situations, the other parts of our brain shut down. It leaves everything up to the primitive brain, which is why we might find it more challenging to think clearly when stressed.
Cerebellum – this part of the brain is called the mammalian brain. It surrounds the primitive brain and processes our emotions and long-term memories. It also processes information learned through our senses.
The cerebral cortex – covers the primitive brain and the cerebellum and makes up about 80% of our brain area. It determines language, thought, reasoning, complex movement patterns, and other things like appreciation of poetry and music.
In addition to these three parts of the brain, we all have millions of brain cells called neurons.Each neuron has its unique function. Neurons use electrical impulses and chemical reactions to and from the central nervous system and within the brain.
Neurons store information and work together in groups to generate actions and reactions and control specific thoughts. Each neuron has the potential for one million billion connections with other neurons. So, even though we only use 5% of our brain capacity, you can see that there is still an enormous amount of activity in our brains.
Left and Right Brain Hemispheres
You may have heard the terms left brain and right brain. It wasn’t until the 1960s that a scientist named Roger Sperry discovered that different activities are associated with different sides of the brain; thus, the term left brain, and right brain thinking was coined.
The left side of our brain is the logical side, the mathematical side. It deals with details and organization and controls our speech and our language. The right side of our brain operates in a less organized way. It handles creativity, interpretation, emotions, imagination, intuition, and spatial awareness.
At one time, scientists thought these two halves of the brain operated independently. Still, more recent thinking believes there is flexibility so that different brain parts can learn new functions.
The Senses and Our Awareness
We all have five senses. Recent evidence shows that the more you can use your senses, the better your memory and thinking ability. The five senses are sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste. Our brain interprets the information from the senses to help us act, react, and stay out of danger.
It’s interesting that, although we all have the same five senses, we often don’t agree on what our minds are telling us because of our perceptions. For instance, how often have you been in a room where it’s too hot for you but too cold for someone else? Or vice versa?
How often have you and someone standing next to you disagreed about what you saw while looking at the same thing? How often have you liked the taste of new food, but your partner has the opposite reaction? This is all due to our perceptions of sensual information. Our brains and how they work are very interesting, don’t you think?
The Control Process
The brain controls every area of our body. It starts as an electrical burst of activity in the cerebral cortex and moves to the motor cortex, which sends nerve signals to specific body parts. The signals then move down the spinal cord, along the motor nerves, to the muscles. The calls go to every aspect of our body and control every action. More complex activities that need body parts with more refined control, such as fingers or lips, have more extensive motor cortex areas. And our awareness of this information is essential.
Intelligence
So, what does this have to do with business? It’s important to note that I don’t think you will have a business or anything if you don’t have a brain. Your brain is your Central Intelligence System. It’s critical to your business to be able to use your brainpower for the good of your business’s success. So, it would help if you did everything in your power to ensure that your brain is functioning at a top-notch level to provide you with the lifestyle you want. Otherwise, why be in business?
I’m just a phone call away if you are looking for help, need assistance, or need a business mentor. Book a complimentary call with me, and let’s chat.
There is a lot more to goal setting than just picking a goal and moving forward. While that is important, it’s also important to ensure that you are setting the right goals at the right time so that you can truly be successful. In order to ensure that you are setting the right goals for your business, answer the following questions:
Are You Setting Specific and Realistic Goals?
It takes a little research to ensure that a goal is realistic. If you’re not sure if something is actually achievable then you’ve not done enough research. Once you’ve set a goal that is indeed realistic, then you need to be specific enough in your description of it so that it’s also easy. Take the goal and work backward to create a schedule of actions needed to succeed.
Are Your Goals Multifaceted?
Focusing on only one part of your business/life is a bad idea. People live multifaceted lives and need to make goals for all areas of their lives in order to feel successful. If you have a wonderful business but your personal life suffers, then no matter how successful you are, you will not feel successful. Something will always feel as if it’s missing from your life if your goals aren’t inclusive. Therefore, make sure your goals include something from each aspect of your life. Are you setting the right goals for your business?
Scheduling Your Goals
Is Your Scheduling Representative of Real Need?
Once you create the schedule for yourself to reach each goal that you’ve set, you need to truly consider how representative it is of reality. Say your goal is to be healthy and reduce your cholesterol by 10 percent in six months. But, you haven’t set aside the time needed to exercise and eat right. If you don’t schedule the time needed, you won’t succeed because something will always be in your way taking time away from you. It will be very frustrating to practice your schedule because it doesn’t represent reality.
Use your calendar to block out time for each activity. For instance, if you are going to exercise 30 minutes per day, setting aside only 30 minutes isn’t going to be realistic. You’ll probably need to set aside an hour to account for getting ready as well as cooling down or getting cleaned up to go back to work.
Are You Learning from Failure?
Many times when setting goals and creating schedules, instead of learning from failure, people give up. Using the example above, once you implement your schedule to reach the goals that you have set if there are things you’ve forgotten to take into account, don’t give up. Learn from the failure and change the schedule to be more realistic.
You might find that in practice you have to rewrite all your goals and your schedule, but this is perfectly acceptable. Many people believe failure is something negative. The truth is, if you don’t fail sometimes you’re not going to learn much and it’s likely your goals are too easy.
Needs, Wants, Yours, or Someone Else
Do Your Goals Represent Your Needs and Wants or Someone Else’s?
A lot of people set goals that represent what someone else wants instead of what they want. This can really cause a lot of bad feelings and resentment. This can derail the best-laid plans. As you set your goals for your life, ask yourself if they’re really what you want for yourself or what someone else wants for you. Ask yourself if you’re okay with any goal you make for someone else before you embark on your journey.
It’s okay to do things because of someone else, but it’s important that you are honest about that and make some goals for yourself too that don’t involve anyone else’s needs or wants.
Are You Checking in Often to Stay on Track?
Schedules are very important to the success of reaching any goal in life. To-do lists pale in comparison to a well-laid out plan of tasks and activities that get you from point “A” to point “B”. Ensure that you look at your schedule or calendar every morning and every night. Note when you succeed in sticking to your schedule and where you don’t. Noticing a pattern of activity can be helpful in fixing a poorly written schedule as well as staying realistic about whether or not you’re sticking to the plan.
Being Positive And Intentional
Are Your Goals Focused Positively?
When writing a goal, it’s important to write them in a positive way. Or at least in a way that feels positive to you. In the quest to improve your life, try doing this. Write down a goal and then change the words to sound more positive to see if it isn’t more motivating. For instance, “losing weight” seems like a good goal, but for some people, it might signify deprivation. So instead, the person might frame the goal as “improving my BMI by 10 points” or “improving my cholesterol by 10 percent.”
Do You Have Too Many Goals Set at One Time?
Just as setting too few goals can be a problem, so can setting too many. Everyone has a personal life and a business life and points in between. If you have set goals in too many areas of life at once, you might tire yourself out and get overwhelmed. Instead, pick one personal goal, and one other type of goal to focus on. After you reach them, then you can add more goals as time goes on. You don’t need to do everything today. Slow and steady wins the race is a good motto to hang on to.
Setting the right goals for yourself takes some thought and consideration. Don’t try to set all your goals in one day. Instead, set some goals in different stages and in different areas of your life. Give a lot of thought to why you’re making the goal in the first place. It will save you a ton of headaches this way, don’t you think? Are You Setting the Right Goals for Your Business?
If you need assistance with setting your goals, I can help you. Contact me to schedule an appointment. You can use this link -> FREE CALL
We’ve all been there, right? It’s just another thing we have to go through in life, but what the heck! So what are you supposed to do when life throws you lemons? What do you do if you have major life transitions that show up in your life?
Let’s discuss this and see if this helps you with your life transitions.
Life Transitions
Here are 8 things to remember when going through major life transitions.
You may have heard each of these more than once before, but they have a whole new meaning when you are going through a major life transition and it feels like everything’s falling apart.
You Aren’t Alone
Everyone goes through challenging times, they just don’t tend to advertise it. You can rest assured that your friends and family understand your feelings and will be willing to help you in any way they can.
It’s Okay to Cut yourself Some Slack
There’s no doubt that you will need time to experience all of the feelings that come about with a major life change. Give yourself a break from all the unimportant or non-urgent things that tend to fill up life. Just take it easy and heal your heart.
All Things are Impermanent
It feels like this confusion and pain will last forever, that you’ll never be happy again, but that isn’t true. Everything in life changes. Nothing is permanent. You can trust that this transition is just that – a change that will eventually settle into a new opportunity.
Life is Change
Just like nature, life is all about change. The winter gives way to spring. The flowers bloom and then hibernate. The moon wanes and waxes. Life will always have ups and downs that we can’t always see coming.
It’s okay to let go of things that aren’t serving you – We like to keep the status quo because it makes us feel safe. But, at some point, we have to let go of things such as people and situations that are holding us back from our highest good. Though it’s not always easy, it’s a natural part of life.
There is always something to be grateful for – Your life may look grim, but if you want to find goodness and beauty in your life, you can. You may not have the same life you had two weeks ago, but you have friends who love you. You can appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Every life has wondrous things in it, we just have to notice them.
It’s okay to say no to negativity – While you surely have friends and family who are loving and supportive, it’s also possible that there are a few negative Nelly’s in your environment also. Especially now, it’s a good idea to say no to their invitations to hang out.
When you feel stronger, you can decide if they are someone you want to continue to have a relationship with. But for now, just say no – as nicely as you can.
Looking for help? Need someone to talk to but don’t want anyone inside your circle to know what’s going on with you? I offer 1×1 mentoring sessions, so if you want to chat just give me a shout out.
Has something terrible happened to you or someone you know? Because no one escapes a major life change in this world. It is painful to know that you’ve lost something you aren’t sure you can live without. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or something else entirely, there are things you can and should do after experiencing a major loss. Below are 5 Things to Do After a Life-Altering Event. I hope that it helps you as much as it’s helped me.
I recently lost my beautiful cat that I had for over 18 years. She was my baby, the last of the kittens we had watched grow up to a full-grown cat. I got her when she was only 6 weeks old and she was so special to me. She was silly, did so many funny things, and loved all the people she lived with that took care of her. Unfortunately, she had cancer and she died just before Halloween a few months ago. I’m still mourning my pretty Izzy B. It was nobody’s fault that she died, she fought a good fight and lasted longer than we thought she would. But, her passing was a life-changing event that will take me time to heal from.
Nobody or no one is exempt from life-events. Not me, not you, no one!
Below are some of the things you can do to help you get through it. They sure have helped me.
Let go of blame
Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes no one is to blame. And yet, it’s so easy for our minds to search for the answer to who is to blame. Too often we blame ourselves for making a certain decision that seemed to cause a domino effect. Or we tell ourselves if we were different somehow, we wouldn’t have made that mistake that leads to the loss. Blame and judgment serve no purpose. In fact, they hold us back from moving forward past the pain.
Be extra gentle with yourself
Once you let go of assigning blame, it’s easier to be especially kind to yourself. That means different things to different people. How can you do this? You might take the vacation time you have to give yourself space to grieve. Or you may get a massage or spend time with a trusted, loving friend. Or you might sleep most of the weekend. Whatever it is, it’s fine. Just cut yourself some slack right now – it’s allowed!
Allow yourself to feel
The last thing we want is to feel pain and sadness. But doing so is an important part of the healing process. Find a safe place to do that, whether it’s at home alone, with a trusted friend or advisor, or even during your yoga class. Pushing away those “bad” feelings will only intensify how strong they are and how long they last.
During a crisis, ask for help
We often feel shame or embarrassment when chaos ensues in our lives. We look around and see that everyone else’s life looks perfect and we wonder why that isn’t us. The fact is, no one’s life is perfect… ever. We just put our best faces forwards.
It’s safe to ask for help from friends and family who love you. If you feel you need professional help to deal with the situation, that is exactly what you need and you should seek someone out whom you trust. There should be no shame in asking for help during this challenging time.
Only do what’s necessary during this situation
Now is the time to let someone else take over for a while. Take some time off from responsibilities that aren’t vital to you or others’ survival. Step down from committees or from hosting a big party, even if the invitations have already been sent. Just focus on today and what needs to be done, and only that.
To recap:
Let go of blame
Be extra gentle with yourself
Allow yourself to feel
Ask for help
Only do what’s necessary
If you feel like you need to talk with someone, reach out to someone you trust. You will thank yourself later. Some days are better than others, just give yourself grace when you’re going through changes.
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